Actress, and cold-hearted human Helen Mirran made news this week saying it annoys her when she sees men with an arm around a woman in this Independent article.

I just cringe at this stuff. I actually go through a process I’ll call C.A.B where I cringe, get angry, and then try to breath. Big breaths. Let it go, Scott. Find a hot tub, and let it die in the boiling water. 

There are some “topics” I’m perfectly willing to debate. Equal wages for the sexes, Roswell, and the season finale of Lost come to mind as really important ones. This isn’t one of them. I’m trying to do these people a favor! DON’T THINK LIKE THIS. Don’t. I’m sure there are like 2 in 500 women who have the arm-around-the-shoulder complex. One of them has sensory issues and six cats. The other one is a miserable product of academia. This chick is horrible, too.

I say these things from experience. No, not as a woman, and not as an E.T. advocate, but as someone who tried to intellectualize everything in the past. I can tell you, it serves zero purpose in life and you might end up drinking Merlot under your sheets watching the season finale of American Gladiators for the 9th time. But maybe that’s just me.

*2010 was a really bad year for me but if you ever need to ‘phone a friend’ on this subject matter, I’m your guy.

**Not about drinking. About the Gladiators.

ANYWAYS.

The Republican debate is on tonight and I missed the last one (have there been more than 1?) because I was in the Dominican Republic. I WOULD have watched it there but I was fending off those machismos with their arms around all their women.

I’m only going to watch because football isn’t on and I’ve watched every show Netflix has to offer including every episode of the Good Wife and Dawson’s Creek. I mean those aren’t my FAVORITE but I’m just telling you I’ve maxed out. I saw that documentary “Maxed Out” come to think of it.  I’d like to end this quasi-serious post by loosely connecting this silly blog subject to DONALD TRUMP. WHAT? HOW WILL HE DO THAT. I’ll tell you how.

Magic.

Let’s say there are 100 people who currently support Donald Trump. 60 of them are conservatives who may or may not have any black friends. 10 of them realllly like money and watched a few seasons of The Apprentice. BUT 30 of them–30 %–are supporting him because he’s “honest” and “says what he wants” and doesn’t apologize. THIS IS A DIRECT BACKLASH to the type of stuff Helen Mirren, the media, and the rest of 5th place-ribbon America is giving us. Those 30 people have ZERO idea what Trump even stands for but they’re sick of PC America and robotic politics.

In short, we are providing the context for the Donald to succeed.

The guy is a fucking clown. That’s all I’ll say. And not like a good, funny clown (do they exist?).He’s the nefarious type I saw once in a hotel elevator that was going to meet other clowns in a room upstairs. Dear, lord. This isn’t made-up. I actually just remembered this repressed memory just now. You are getting stream-of-consciousness honesty here, folks. It was at a hockey tournament when we stayed at hotels as kids. Burlington, Vermont as I recall. No, I wasn’t touched. No, that’s not why I drank the Merlot.

Have a good night everyone and hold your loved ones/ possessions close tonight. You don’t want them to get away.