Fixer Upper is the best show on HGTV and it’s because of Chip and Joanna. I’ve never said this word out loud in my life, but they are… adorable… and sorry not sorry for saying it.

I fancy myself just like Chip except I can’t build anything. I’m the least handy person I know and I know over 40 people. But his hair is kind of red and he likes exotic looking women so we’re very similar in other regards. Joanna is my latest crush and replaced Giada when we inexplicably broke up. She got divorced and maybe subconsciously I didn’t want to deal with that type of baggage.

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They seem so goddamn wholesome and it has to be real. I’m one of the more skeptical people I know, and like I said, I know over 40 people. Nobody on Facebook is fooling me with their updates and forever-changing profile pics. I know you’re picture is from six years ago and I definitely know that your baby is ruining your life.

But back to Chip and Jo.

I read this article while doing the vigorous research I do for these blogs and come across a not-so-perfect depiction of America’s Sweethearts.  Apparently Chip got sued and the couple belong to an Evangelical group that tries to convert homosexuals. This is the type of stuff that can bring you down: when you find out your heroes can’t fly.

But until I see Chip hazing a gay man and purposely doing bad repairs, I refuse to believe it. I’m closing my eyes and covering my ears ear.

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Would I go back to drinking camp over it?

Maybe, probably.

All I’m saying is that we all need heroes.