I wonder if I’m still afraid of flying kites?

Wait, what?

I’ve told you that. Right?

What? You’re afraid of flying kites?

It’s like a reverse scared-of-heights thing. I’m afraid the kite is gonna take me with it.

Andddddd that is verbatim a conversation I had last week. It was a week where surprise grenades were dropped at an alarming clip. When you’ve been with someone for years, moments like these are rare. I went off-script.

I don’t know where the fear came from but I do vividly recall being tossed up in the air as a baby/toddler by my cousin and being terrified. Fast forward to a plethora of dreams where I was faced with the decision of being taken up in the air by a hot-air balloon or jumping out before I got too high. I mean I’m pretty sure everyone has those nightmares.

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So put in these terms, anyone would be afraid of flying dangerous kites. As that string quickly uncoils, my insides do backflips and I’m filled with terror. Everyone is! Come to think of it, I feel the same way when I cast in fishing. Probably a best-seller dream book about losing control and how the kite is your mother.

I’m fine, guys.

My explanation to Adriana wasn’t even the most shocking thing learned that week. Last Saturday at midnight, we’re with some friends and she tries on some glasses. Adriana is someone who wears glasses. Or, maybe she isn’t.

She puts the glasses on and they start chatting about Lisa Loeb and all that jazz and come to find out, the glasses are fake glasses—not prescription. I don’t know the technical term.  I think the term is Lisa-Loeb glasses. Anyways, she then casually drops that her glasses are Lisa-Loeb glasses.

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Wait, what?

After 5 years of being with someone, and I learn that her eyes are fine? She has glasses because…. I’m still not sure why? Absolutely shocking to be honest. It’s like me casually saying just kidding I’m not actually deaf in one ear. That was just a conversation starter I never wanted to end.